Jackass of the day...

This morning I was driving into work, reliving the 80's listening to The Pixies...when there was some kind of bright light behind me, it was so bright it felt as if it were searing my corneas! Looking in the rearview mirror only made it worse, as did looking at the side mirror...

Oh yes, the jackass behind me had on his high beams! For what?! First of all, it is daytime...there really is no need for any form of lights...Second of all, if you are too stupid to realize you have accidentally turned on your high beams, you probably shouldn't be driving a motor vehicle!! Really, do you not look down at your display panel at all when you drive...how do you miss the blue light in the center signifying that your highbeams are on?! Really, get out of your car, turn over your keys and take the damn bus! You shouldn't be driving!

It is like those people who drive for miles with out realizing they have left their turn signal on?! If you are that damn deaf, again, you shouldn't be driving? How can you not hear that annoying clicking sound...most days I do think I am going deaf, and even I can hear that sound!

I have been at work for an hour and still when I blink I can see spots...thank you jackass!

However today is Friday and I am leaving for vacation this afternoon, so I am trying not to be in an irritated mood! (you are welcome grande!!)
The internet will not be available where I am going, so no postings for the next week... :-(

On another note, before I leave, can someone please explain to me what the hell this is? I heard something about it on the news the other day, but I didn't really pay much attention, then I can across this earlier today, and I just had to ask, huh, what?!

How can we be out of forks?

About three weeks ago our office receptionist left...She had been here for many years and put up with a lot of crap. She started out as only a receptionist, but of course, as everyone here in the office knows, she was completely taken advantage of...By the end she was doing the work of about three or four people. One day she had enough and she quit -- good for her!

Since her leave however, the office has started to administratively fall apart...
We no longer have notebooks, or pens...Immediately after her departure her desk was pillaged of anything worth while -- I managed to steal some liquid paper -- the kind in the plastic thing that doesn't glob up like white out. I stole two of them, and a pen! Now there is nothing left...Not even a pack of post-its. No one knows where to put the printer paper, so the copy room looks like a fort...There are four towers of paper that now stand about as high as me (I am about 5'6").
Office supplies are not the only things falling apart around here...There is no longer coffee readily supplied in the kitchen, I have resorted to bringing in my own coffee, after two days of coming into the office only to find an empty pot, and a bag containing coffee ground remnants (an uncaffeinated C is a bad thing)

I discovered yet another thing we have run out of...Forks. The plastic fork holder only had two forks left yesterday, so I went on a search to find more...Only to come up with nothing.
As of this morning, there were none left...Not sure if I can eat my salad for lunch with a spoon or a knife, but I might not have any other options...Fingers, but eating with them tends to be frowned upon in this culture!

Of course I don't see a way to fix this issue...There really isn't anyone in the building who I can see caring about the needs of the employees, or better yet the happiness of employees...So it looks like I will have to supply my own plastic forks from now on...Just as I have done with the coffee. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job?! Cause, really this is a great place to work! ;-)

Pet peeves...

I am not a very tolerant person, tiny things annoy me to the point where my blood pressure raises until I get to the point of screaming uncontrollably at the source of the annoyance.

Today's annoyance is the intern. He sits in the cube across from mine...And today he is slurping something...Not sure what, but every 2 1/2 seconds he slurps. And it is not just a little slurp, it is long drawn out, over exaggerated slurping...Seriously I am about ready to jump through the cube wall and dump whatever liquid treat he is eating all over his stupid intern head! ARUGH!

Sorry...I just have no patience for annoyances in the office. You know really, have some office etiquette, we all work in a very tiny space, be courteous, don't play your radio loud enough for your cube neighbor to hear, it is great that you love listening to the easy listening channel during the day, but some of us are not fans of the soothing sounds of Kenny G, and if I hear that stupid Rod Steward song, "Having a Party" one more time, I am going to rip the radio out of the wall and smash it at your feet!

However annoying hearing the radio of my cube neighbors may be, slurping really is much worse, that and sniffing...Go blow your damn nose! Don't sit there all day sucking snot back up into your head! No one is impressed with the sucking power of your nostrils! It is gross, so please go blow your nose.

Most everyone at least once or twice a week someone comments on how I have in headphones at least 80% of the day...Really what choice to I have?! It is either wear headphones or go postal...And really I would much rather just sit at my desk in my own world than be featured on the nightly news!

Doctors and Religion

well i found out some interesting news today about my primary care physician (pcp)...turns out he is a bible pusher...

it all started yesterday...when i arrived at the chiropractors, the nurse/receptionist told me that in order for me to continue there as a patient i would need to have a referral from my pcp, okay fine no big deal, i have been going to the same pcp since i was 19 or so...he loves me, we have a great relationship, he gives me free inhalers and we have a mutual hatred for insurance companies, it works out, he even at one point used to give my little brother a discount when he was with out insurance, so really he is a nice guy. but until today, i had no idea truly what type of person he is...and i have to say i am sad and disappointed...

so i called his office for a referral, it was then i was told that he didn't give referrals to chiropractors....huh?! okay, why...i was told it was just not his policy, but that if i wanted to come in and see him they could arrange that. right, but he can't crack my neck or hook me up to that electric machine thing that sends tiny wonderful shocks into my back muscles (i swear that machine is addictive!), so really what good is it to go to see him when he can take a look and go, "yep you got a problem there..." great i knew that, now what?!

well after talking to my chiropractor, apparently my pcp would tell me to pray about it, that god would fix me?! again i say, huh?! god will fix me...um...doesn't he have other stuff going on...really how does my backwards neck fit into his great plan?

apparently my chiropractor had another patient who had the same pcp, and was also unable to get a referral, but was told that if she prayed about it god would fix it. what?! no, you are a doctor, why do you get to make decisions about how a patient gets treated, don't push your voo-doo bible crap onto me...my neck isn't supporting your head and body...you don't know how it feels, so don't tell me to pray about it!? really again i think that god has more important things to worry about...you know war...famine....all of that just seems a tiny bit bigger than my neck!

now i never realized this, but that many doctors think chiropractics are quacks...it is interesting, and i would be inclined to believe that if it weren't for the x-rays. last week i had xrays done on my neck and i have to say, it doesn't look right...at all...



this is a picture of a normal neck....












this is a picture kind of how my neck looks, except my actual is curing a bit more in the wrong direction...












now of course i am sure it is actually the methods of how the go about correcting the problem that doctors, mine included, have a problem with, but really what would they rather do, open me up and move my spine around, yeah, no thank you! that is not going to happen...

as far as the chiropractor is concerned he thinks that it is unfair for a doctor to make that decision, so he is going to work with me since with out the referral none of this will be covered. but clearly there is something wrong with my neck...that much is obvious, and i am tired of having it hurt...and the headaches from it aren't much fun either! ;-)

so i don't know what to do about my pcp...i am not sure if i am comfortable seeing a doctor who tells his patients to pray for cures...sure maybe some people need that kind of faith and they have that kind of belief, but it is just a bit too much for me...lets just hope i don't get sick anytime soon before i have to make a decision on this one...

general complaints

nothing is really going on today, i have a chiropractor appointment and a dentist appointment this afternoon...fun stuff.

but really i am just writing to vent about some general things that are annoying me today...

1. loud people, but not just any old loud people, people who are loud for the sole purpose of letting others hear how cool they are. we don't care loud people who think they are cool, and we don't want to hear about your craptastic life, no one cares...you are just loud and annoying...we laugh behind your backs, mocking not only your loudness, but also you so not coolness, get over yourselves and close your office door!

2. talking in general. i don't like you, and i don't want to talk to you. when my back is turned, and i am looking away from you, please take this as a sign that i don't want to talk to you...if my responses are just, 'uh-uh' or, 'that is interesting'...i am not interested and you are boring me...walk away from my cube!

3. people who lie to fit into the group. first of all, we are not that dumb. you can't come over here, cry poor to those of us that actually are poor and think we might for a second believe you and decided to let you into the group. second of all, after you cry poor to us, don't proceed to talk loudly in your office about the time share in aspen you plan to buy that is going to cost anywhere from a quarter of a million to a million dollars...yeah again cause you are so poor...whatever, liar. you don't fit into the group, and not just because of your size! ;-)

interview

i am back from my interview...it went very well. it wasn't really for a job per se...it was with a recruiter, but it still went very well...

earlier this week i applied for a position that was listed on one of the job finder sites, of course as with all the job finder sites, this position was actually listed through a recruitment company, not with the actual company that is hiring. so i figured what the heck, what do i have to lose, normally i never would have applied for a job though one of these agencies, but at this point, i don't really care.

the recruiter guy called me back the very next day, wanting to meet with me, that day was today. so i packed up my pretty clothes, put them in the back of my car (i couldn't risk dressing up at the office and calling attention to myself!), and got my nerves all ready for the interview. i had to change in the Olive Garden parking lot in the back of my car...which was tricky, but i have a hidden talent of changing in public. (that is for another story!) i went into the restaurant and waited...

the recruiter showed up right on time, looking much younger than i would have expected. he was so nice that all of my nervousness went right away. we talked about my experience, about what kind of job i was looking for, about school and about my reasons for leaving my current position. i was honest and explained to him exactly why i wanted to leave my current position...which led us to another more exciting conversation -- pay! of course you all know how last week i found out that the interns made more than me...now i didn't go that far and tell him that, it is way to embarrassing...but i did tell him exactly how much i made, and he laughed. then he proceeded to tell me that i make about 20,000 dollar LESS, yes i said LESS than what the market currently pays for my experience...huh? i didn't really know what to say...but i was shocked. obviously i knew i was under paid, but i didn't realize by how much!! he told me that more than likely he would be able to find me a position that would almost pay me double what i make now!

holy shit, did he actually say double?!! double! i would be able to pay all my bills and have money left over, i wouldn't have to worry about moving money into my checking account from my pitiful, slowly dwindling savings account. grande would be able to stay at home and eat bon-bons all day (after he finds out what they are!), i would be able to buy all the makeup i want from sephora!! okay yeah that is really why i want to make more money, but isn't that every girls dream...endless days of shopping at sephora...i dream of stila lip glaze in every color...pop eye beauty cakes in all the shades of green (to go with my eyes!)...maybe i would even splurge and buy the rice dream line from fresh (it is so expensive, but smells so good!)...

right, so every please keep your fingers crossed for the recruiter to find me a new job that pays me what i am actually worth...really sephora needs me...it gets lonely with out me...and i haven't had the extra money to visit properly in the past few weeks!! and we can't forget about grande's dream of sitting at home eating bon-bons all day...and if anyone knows what exactly bon-bons are, please let us know...we have no idea! :-)

blah.

there is nothing new going on...this has been a very boring week. i have been slacking off at work more than before due to my increased hatred of this place. however, i do have a job interview today, i am not getting my hopes up and right now at this point, i am trying not to think about it. so at this point i am not going to talk about it...maybe later, after it is over and i regain the ability to think and speak... (people freak me out, i have severe anxiety problems and meeting new people makes me feel sick to the point of passing out...interviews are always a joy for me!!)

other than that not much is going on. i have started going to a chiropractor for my neck. my x-rays showed that the curve in my neck has started to curve the wrong way, never a good thing. so every day this week and most of next week, my afternoons will be spent getting my neck cracked and then being hooked up to a machine that sends tiny little electrical shocks into my back muscles, oddly enough it feels great. the best part of all of this, is that i have to leave work early every day, damn, so upsetting! ;-)

right well back to not thinking about my interview...this is how bad it is, i did actual work this morning to distract myself from thinking of the interview, yeah it is that bad!!

arugh...

okay so i never worked up the nerve to talk to my boss yesterday...i know, i know...i am a wimp! but i came up with a new plan, i am going to wait until my quartly review at the end of this month and do it at that time. for those of you who many not know this about me, i have a bit of a temper (i am part irish after all!!), and there have been times when i am upset or angry where i kind of lose composure...more like i become a raging banshee...most of the time i don't even know what i have said in the outburst of angry, but none of it is ever good. oh and i don't play nice either when i am mad...if you pissed me off 8 years ago, or even wore something hideously ugly and i lied to you and told you it looked great, yeah it all comes out when i get angry...so since i really don't want to be fired (although i could collect unemployment if i were...) i think it is best to cool down and wait a week or so to have the big conversation with the boss...

bad day...

well my work finally did it, they managed to do the last possible thing that i can stand...it is quite sad actually.......
i found out on friday, that our interns make more than i do! not really a huge deal, well yeah it really is, but when you mash it along with all the other crappy things i have dealt with over my almost 6 years here it pretty much was the last straw.

today, (please everyone cross your fingers, pray to your pagan gods...whatever you have to do) i am going to confront my boss about it. basically it comes down to an ultimatum...either things change around here or i am out...i know this is a bold move, but i just don't think i can do it anymore...i have been pushed too far this time. it really was insulted and kind of offensive to find out that the interns, college boys in the junior year in college, make more than i do...and honestly it is a little embarrassing...

so again wish me luck! i hope that things go well. i don't want to quit my job, it is secure here, plus i have Grande here all day to keep me company and to get me through all the crappy days...so it definitely will be sad if it comes down to having to quit, but really i think at this point it will be for the best... (and i don't 'think' it, i know it is for the best...)

Royal Caribbean Cruise ad ruined Iggy Pop...

Okay so in order to calm down, lower my blood pressure and basically just not flip out in the office today, I have been trying to listen to happy music to pick up my foul mood from this morning...

So far I have listened to lots of Blur (nothing says happy like "There's No Other Way")...now to mellow my mood I have moved onto the Trainspotting Soundtrack (the first one), and the first song is "Lust for Life" by Iggy Pop...which used to be a great pick me up song (yeah okay so it is about shooting up heroin, but it is still fun!)...well it has been a long time since I have listened to it, and I realized that the stupid add for the Royal Caribbean Cruise line using that song in their ad...damnit, it will never be the same again.

Kind of like when Burger King used the Modern English song, "I Melt with You"...arugh...bad advertisements should not be allowed to use catchy songs in their ads. It is ruining good music!

Add secretary to my job description!

So the bosses brother comes up to me at 5 after 8 this morning and asks me to make him a copy (yep a copy!) of my notebook for our newest client. Okay all I did to create this 'notebook' (or better yet, binder) was to print off all the requirements and specs from the client...

I gave him the most dumbfounded look I could come up with...he didn't really like my answer that printing the documents himself would in effect create the 'notebook'...I am not about to spend most of my day making copies for him! In a way I feel insulted that he would actually ask me to make him copies, copies?! What do I look like?! Just because he drove his own admin to quit a little over a week ago does not mean that I am her replacement...arugh...No I will not do it, I will not make him copies of my binder, there is no way in hell...

He needs to get off his lazy f'ing ass and do it himself! I am not his god-damn secretary!!!
I really need to find a new job...

Stupid word

Today I was bored at work (imagine that!) and I was on the company's intranet site wasting some time when I came across an advertisement for a 'webinar'...yes a 'webinar'...

This is the single dumbest, made up, mashed together word I have seen in a long time.
HEHE! I bet the marketing geniuses that came up with that thought they were so cool! I can imagine the conversation going something like this:

Marketing Genius #1: So, what are we going to call this new web seminar?
Marketing Genius #2: I don't know....why aren't we cooler....you know if we were cooler I am sure we could come up with something really great.
Marketing Genius #1: Right...we really aren't cool...
Marketing Genius #2: How about 'beminar'...you know combine the two words, kind of like 'web log' = 'blog'...
Marketing Genius #1: No that sounds too cheesy...we need something, more edgy...THAT IS IT, I'VE GOT IT! 'webinar'...now that is marketing gold!
Marketing Genius #2: Wow...you are so cool!

Now I can say all of this, because I have been in meetings with the marketing dorks at my company, they are those kind people mock on TV shows...the kind that have inspirational speakers to get them pumped up about their numbers...the kind that play 'cool' music to go along with the slideshow presentation reviewing last years statistics! Yep those are the same people who came up with 'webinar'...

How can you take a word like that seriously? Or even take seriously the presentation being held at one? I know I can't...

Aahhhh...another joy of working in the big corporate world! ;-)
I really need to find a new job...

The domestic gene skipped me...

Well yesterday I once again proved that domesticity is something I clearly lack...
It all started out so simply, I was vacuuming the living room, actually moving the furniture to vacuum underneath, and then it happened, it was as if everything went into slow motion...quickly, but in that slow-mo kind of quick, I tried to pull it out before it was sucked up, but it was too late...all I could think to do was turn off the vacuum, that too was in slow-mo...it was already gone...I had sucked up Grande's phone charger...well just the cord. I was able to pull it out of the vacuum, but the plastic coating had already been stripped off and the wires were exposed...in true fashion of any kind of domestic disaster I started to cry...

I am not sure why doing domestic chores always make me cry, but they do...I have a long history of crying while cooking...either because something has gone terribly wrong or I get so frustrated I just break down.

One of my biggest cooking disasters happened years ago...
It was my first Thanksgiving in my new house as a married women...I decided I was going to cook Thanksgiving dinner for my family. My mom was going to bring most of the food, but my husband (now ex) and I were in charge of the turkey, the stuffing and the mashed potatoes. I decided the night before that I would make the stuffing and just refrigerate it over night. My mom had given me the recipe for the stuffing she makes...I followed it perfectly, with one minor issue, I didn't really have a good chopping knife for the celery, but I did have a food processor. I figured that would do the chop of chopping it up. Yep it did too good of a job, and kind of turned the celery into a sort of puree...and since I had no idea how it was supposed to look, I dumped the entire thing in with the bread crumbs...which resulted in bright green bread crumbs. I had forgotten to drain some of the celery juice out......which the bread crumbs sucked right up! I called my dad hysterically crying...he laughed at me and calmed me down...in the end everything tasted fine, but the stuffing was a bright green color! At least we can still laugh about that...

Cleaning is also something that challenges me...if I don't hurt or cut myself I usually end up having an asthma attack from using products that are too strong...it is always an exciting time. Usually though I only end up hurting myself. I am infamous for running into things as I dust, or hitting my head on tables, or I just clumsily drop things as I dust them! It is never ending, and usually results in crying...

Laundry is no better for me...once I accidentally put cleaning rags with bleach into a load of good towels, yep bleached them all...they kind of look tie dyed, kind of...yeah not really, but if I keep telling myself that it sounds better!
I didn't realize that darks and whites were to be separated for about the first five loads of laundry I ever did...I couldn't figure out why my white socks were turning funny colors! ;-)

Don't even get me started on child care...most babies scream around me as if they are being tortured and the handful of times I babysat turned out horrifying...the one family -- the father was thrown in jail for not paying back child support to his ex-wife, meanwhile the new wife was having an affair, and I was there at their house with the kids trying to not freak out about my situation, in the end I only made $25.00 -- so not worth it for the crap I put up with that night. Another babysitting tragedy was when I was watching my two younger cousins, the smallest one escaped from me, minus a diaper and started marking his territory all around the house! Yeah that was fun to clean up!

I blame my mother...she never really cooked or cleaned. Most of my life we ordered take out, or went out to eat, she did some cooking, but now looking back on it, I understand why I was so painfully underweight all the time... ;-) I never learned how to use a washer or dryer until I was in my 20's. And when I was very small my brother and I had chores to clean, but we didn't really do much...then a few years later we had Vicki, the cleaning lady...goodbye chores!!
There really wasn't a point to this post, I just thought it was ridiculous that once again I cried doing something domestic...I sometimes get jealous of people who love to clean, are fabulous cooks and are able to be excited (not terrified) when holding babies! Maybe I just missed out on the gene that make women good at those things...I don't know, but I can kick pretty much anybodies ass at Tetris...seriously I freaking rule! But still, I keep waiting for the homemaker gene to kick in, but 30 is less than a year away...and it hasn't shown up yet...

An Exorcist virgin no more...

Yesterday, the big day finally happened for me, it took me 29 years but I finally did it!!!!
I watched The Exorcist...

And you know I have to say I was disappointed! After all the crazy hype about how it is the scariest movie ever, people throwing up in the theatres when it first came out and all of that craziness, I was expecting to be terrified, I wasn't. I only jumped once when the phone rang in the movie and it was only cause it was so damn loud! Other than that, I didn't jump at all, I didn't even have to hide my eyes in fear at all, and I had a blanket on the couch with me all prepared to be hiding for most of the movie, as I do for most horror movies...nope didn't need it, it just wasn't scary. Disturbing, sure it was that, but not much else!

The Grudge and The Ring were by far scarier...I was even able to go upstairs alone last night, and use the bathroom in the dark -- neither of those things happen after I watch a horror movie. Usually I either make Grande go everywhere in the house with me (oh yes I am that childish after a horror movie) or I try and drag one of the cats around the house with me...but I needed neither this time...which really does signify a not so scary movie!

Oh well, at least now I can confidently say, "Yes I have seen The Exorcist" and not be laughed at by my friends!