coming soon to a theatre near you...

be afraid, be very afraid...long gone are the days of good classic hollywood movies (as well as original thought)...now are the days of the sequels, prequels, tv shows turned into movies, books turned into movies and others you would rather forget were ever made...
2006 is looking to be a bleak year for movies (just wait until you see what is in store for 2007, i thought after 2006's movie forecast it couldn't get any bleaker...yeah, i was really wrong...)...here are some to look forward to (i say this with as much sarcasm as my voice can have, or thought...whichever...)...

DOA: Dead or Alive, starring Jamie Pressely (she really is great on My Name is Earl), Devon Aoki and some other chick i had never heard of...anyway, this movie is based on a video game...it should be fantastic...no.

Jackass: Jackassier, starring Johnny Knoxville, Bam Magera (okay i really do love his show!) and Steve-O
really the title says it all here...

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning...why?

The Santa Clause 3, starring Tim Allen and Martin Short...do we really need this? and who pays for these to get made?! i just don't get it...

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, starring Will Farrell (why does he act?!) and Sacha Baron Cohen (Ali-G)...a movie about NASCAR?! are you serious...

Miami Vice, starring Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx...no Don Johnson and that other guy, forget it i am out! ;-)

and yes i have saved the best for last............drumroll please...the title of this movie really sums up the entire year for 2006...

and here it is:
Snakes on a Plane, starring Samuel L. Jackson...the title sums it all up...terrorists on a plane unleash the ultimate fury, snakes...oooohhh...scary...

but dear readers, don't despair, all hope is not lost for 2006.......

An American Haunting, starring Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek...this is based on the true events of the Legend of the Bell Witch, and notorious spirit who haunted the Bell family in Tennesse for over 200 years...

The DaVinci Code...really the book was great, if the movie sucks, i am sure i won't be the only person disappointed...

X-Men: The Last Stand...i know, i know it is another sequel, or whatever the word for third is...in the same context as sequel...but it is the X-Men, it has to be good.

The Omen, starring Liev Schrieber and Julia Stiles...i loved the original Omen (all 100 of them!!), the book scared the hell out of me as a child, okay mainly cause little Damien and i share the same birthday (June 06, which coincidentally...love it!...is the open day for the movie...but in 06, making it 06/06/06!), i can't wait!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, starring Johnny Depp, need i say more?!

Okay and lastly for the movies that have hope for 2006, is:

Lady in the Water, directed by M. Night Shyamalan...i just hold out hope that he will return to the director that twisted us all with the Sixth Sense...

two other honorable mentions for the year 2006,

The Grudge 2, the first one really did scare me...and Saw 3...

i am reluctant to even list them but here are some of the horrors that await us in 2007...as i said earlier, be afraid, be very afraid...

Rocky Balboa...are you kidding me?! wow...unreal that they are able to take this story any further...of course it is starring Sylvester Stallone...

Fantastic Four 2...okay i am not a guy, but i realize the only draw this movie has is Jessica Alba

The Simpsons Movie...yikes...this just needs to end...

and last but not least...(right!)

Transformers: The Movie...yes you heard me right, they are turning this beloved cartoon into a LIVE ACTION!? movie...need i say more!!

please don't give up on the movie industry...learn to embrace films that actually matter, i have turned in this, my time of need, to foreign films (yes i know they involve reading, but some of them are very beautiful) and of course Independent Films...some are a bit low budget, but there are others that are really quite good!